My Feels
by prussianpancakes
Summary: This is basically my feels and point of view of things like friends and what not . . Crappy summary -3- This is the beginning of my little book of feels!
1. Chapter 1

Everyday I tell lies. Not for my own reasons though. But to help you not worry about me. I would love if you didn't fret over my well being as to your own if that makes any sense at all. Don't leave me.

I put on a false smile and tell you I'm fine or okay. Creating a fabrication of an unknown place; I can seek paradise. I'm always scrupulous about what I talk about. Afraid you might see through me. I need you.

I bottle all despondency. Knowing people would ask the tantamount question. The question I can't answer honestly. People say I always look sad. But sad doesn't cover the whole problem. But I can't utter the dreadful word that would lead to concern and more questions. I'm not fine.

I cry alone. Telling myself everything will be fine with no help. Hoping in the future, this illness I know I have, will desert its presence before me. After I finish my daily tears, I replace my broken smile with another false smile. Behind this smile, is an abandoned soul with a phrase repeating like a mantra. Help me…

I complain of being alone; with no "partner". With no one who is there to love me for me. When on the inside, it's just another lie. What I truly need is a shoulder to cry on. Who will support me through this opaque time. A best friend.

Though I think of demise quite frequently, I wouldn't do an intentional thing that would bring bereavement to those I love and care about. I'm just too cordial. I need you more than ever.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Natalie,

We have known each other for three years now, right? And what an awesome time these past years have been! We've been through so many extravagant adventures. Whether it be at your house or mine, we always find a way to have a boisterous epoch.

I am so grateful to be able to call you my best friend. For us to be so close, it makes me happy. You are like the sister I never had, but always wanted.

We never seem to quarrel even if I tease you a little more than necessary. We stick together through hardships and family issues or whether it be through good times and fantastic news.

You're my best friend; my sister, and everything. And what I'm simply trying to say is I love you very much and I hope we can stay bestest friends till the end! 3


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Carl,

I think we really clicked, at that one football when I drove to Denny's with you. I was finally able to be myself. And I'm really happy I could show myself towards you. I remember frequently whispering 'thank you'. And I still am thankful.

Every time I feel self-conscious about myself and what I want to say, you tell me to stop being self-conscious and tell you. And you know, your not like other guys! I feel as if I can tell you anything and I won't be adjudged.

I feel as if you are my best guy friend; even if we don't hang out much because of distance, I still very much love you! Even if you would fluster me by either singing a random Happy Birthday song at the Cheesecake Factory, or acting like an idiot at the book store.

You are one of my bestest friends and I still hope I can sleepover at your apartment soon!


	4. School Inspiration

When is the right time to give up? When the going gets tough? When things in life are just too far away to grasp and it's just not worth it anymore? The irrationals in these absurd questions is the most simplest of answers. **NEVER **give up! Life is just too short to worry about the smallest things in life that will probably never affect you in the years to come.

What you do, is your decision. Who cares what other people think? I might a hypocrite for saying such things, but believe what you want to believe, and do what you put your mind to!

That failing grade you got? Don't worry! Sure it might counted for something more important, but a simple letter doesn't show how intelligent you truly are. That subject might as well be flaccid and you just don't understand. It doesn't mean you're stupid. It's just not a strong point and a simple letter grade shouldn't impede your progression in life! School might be rough, but it's not forever. Keep your head high, and try your best!


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